{reader submission} Dealing with Separation

I have been told the stages of anger, resentment, sadness, loss and denial will apparently give way to acceptance….Hmmm bring it on then.

2010 saw the end of relationship that I had thought would be a part of my life forever, how wrong can you be.

What have I learnt from it all?

· That you just cannot trust some people.

· Betrayal hurts.

· As long as there are women who are willing to cheat with a cheating man, there will always be cheating men.

· They (the women the men cheat with) are, like Whoopie said in the Color Purple,” just a place to do his business". Oh how true that is.

· That I need to take special care of myself during this time and spend more time loving me.

· Show more compassion to myself as I heal my heart and soul.

· And countless other things, too many to list.

To have given so much of myself to another person only to have them give themselves to another woman is a really painful thing to deal with, but it is a blessing that they now can be each other’s poison and no longer mine. The women these men cheat with have very little self worth and are very insecure. Is it fun to be a sex toy for a cheater? I’d say not too good for the self esteem.

I ask the other woman; don’t you realize he belongs to someone else? Isn’t his cheating an indicator of how much he can’t be trusted and he is probably still having sex with his partner? This doesn’t mean he loves you – it means he’s a liar, indecisive, cowardly and a cheat. What’s wrong with finding a man who isn’t with someone else? Is a man who is taken all you can get? He is going to cheat whether the relationship is good or bad. The other woman needs to realize he wasn’t in a bad relationship; that he is a manipulator who doesn’t care who gets hurt in his quest for (self) whatever drives a man like him.

In my eyes there are absolutely no reasons to cheat, but some people have no values, morels and self worth and will always find another person who is as low in morals as they are to cheat with.

There are lessons to be learnt from everything in life, separation included. I still believe in love so all is not lost.