{reader submission} Dealing with Separation

I have been told the stages of anger, resentment, sadness, loss and denial will apparently give way to acceptance….Hmmm bring it on then.

2010 saw the end of relationship that I had thought would be a part of my life forever, how wrong can you be.

What have I learnt from it all?

· That you just cannot trust some people.

· Betrayal hurts.

· As long as there are women who are willing to cheat with a cheating man, there will always be cheating men.

· They (the women the men cheat with) are, like Whoopie said in the Color Purple,” just a place to do his business". Oh how true that is.

· That I need to take special care of myself during this time and spend more time loving me.

· Show more compassion to myself as I heal my heart and soul.

· And countless other things, too many to list.

To have given so much of myself to another person only to have them give themselves to another woman is a really painful thing to deal with, but it is a blessing that they now can be each other’s poison and no longer mine. The women these men cheat with have very little self worth and are very insecure. Is it fun to be a sex toy for a cheater? I’d say not too good for the self esteem.

I ask the other woman; don’t you realize he belongs to someone else? Isn’t his cheating an indicator of how much he can’t be trusted and he is probably still having sex with his partner? This doesn’t mean he loves you – it means he’s a liar, indecisive, cowardly and a cheat. What’s wrong with finding a man who isn’t with someone else? Is a man who is taken all you can get? He is going to cheat whether the relationship is good or bad. The other woman needs to realize he wasn’t in a bad relationship; that he is a manipulator who doesn’t care who gets hurt in his quest for (self) whatever drives a man like him.

In my eyes there are absolutely no reasons to cheat, but some people have no values, morels and self worth and will always find another person who is as low in morals as they are to cheat with.

There are lessons to be learnt from everything in life, separation included. I still believe in love so all is not lost.

{reader submission} Stop questioning me!

Dear Husband,

I don’t question you when you friend random women on Facebook and Twitter. I trust you.

But what annoys the hell out of me is that you log onto Twitter, read through my twitter feed and then the questions start.

“Who’s he?!”

“What does he mean by that?!”

“What did YOU mean by that tweet?!"

Husband, your insecurity is a pain in the ass and you need to stop it.

I don’t know why you are like that because I have never given you any reason not to trust me.

Love, your ever patient wife.

My Husband Puts Work First

I am certain he is obsessed with his work. He tries to prolong any amount of time has to go there, he is always late home, has extra meetings on his days off, and just 'calls in' when he happens to be down that way.

He'll swap any work hours at anyone work mates request - but won't ever ever ever ask anyone to swap around if I need him too.

He goes to work even when he is sick unless he is physically unable to get himself out of bed. I think I can only recall one time when he has had a sick day in the last 5 years.

Even when I or the children have needed to go to the hospital, he just complains about 'going to be late for work' and drops me off there with the kids.

Early one morning I was so sick I thought I was dying, I told him he'd need to take me to the hospital. He dropped me off at the ER with kids in prams, leaving me to cry my way through giving details to the nurse, and then called and woke up my parents and told them to come get my kids, and then left for work.

Then on the times you think he has taken the day off, a sick day, what he has actually done is said 'I'll come in on my days off to make up for it'. Which of course are days when I've already got stuff to do, but now everything has to be rearranged to suit him.

I just don't understand how anyone could be so selfish and think everything is ok??