I am certain he is obsessed with his work. He tries to prolong any amount of time has to go there, he is always late home, has extra meetings on his days off, and just 'calls in' when he happens to be down that way.
He'll swap any work hours at anyone work mates request - but won't ever ever ever ask anyone to swap around if I need him too.
He goes to work even when he is sick unless he is physically unable to get himself out of bed. I think I can only recall one time when he has had a sick day in the last 5 years.
Even when I or the children have needed to go to the hospital, he just complains about 'going to be late for work' and drops me off there with the kids.
Early one morning I was so sick I thought I was dying, I told him he'd need to take me to the hospital. He dropped me off at the ER with kids in prams, leaving me to cry my way through giving details to the nurse, and then called and woke up my parents and told them to come get my kids, and then left for work.
Then on the times you think he has taken the day off, a sick day, what he has actually done is said 'I'll come in on my days off to make up for it'. Which of course are days when I've already got stuff to do, but now everything has to be rearranged to suit him.
I just don't understand how anyone could be so selfish and think everything is ok??
That was a bit harsh of your husband to leave you at the h9ospital like that :/ Have you talked to him about how you're feeling about it all?
ReplyDeleteWe've got a similar issue in our family, although thankfully not as bad now as it used to be.
ReplyDeleteWhen Annie was 9 months old she had suspected Meningitis and had to have a lumber puncture to confirm. There I was, no sleep for over 24 hours, my baby incredibly sick and husband at work. Thank god for good friends.
Interestingly since his father passed away hubby seems to be putting family before work more often. I don't know if it was something his Dad said or just husbands reaction to his Dad no longer being around and realising that Dads presence is important for children. Whatever the cause I'm thrilled at the change.
I hope your husband can change too.
I hope you can find a way to make him wake up to what he's doing. I put up with my ex doing that for almost 26 yrs. 12-16hr days, 6 days a week & the phone going constantly when he wasn't at work. Even telling him our marriage was over didn't really change his 'work ethic'. He takes 2 days off a week sometimes but if it looks like work might be shorthanded he's either there or managing it via phone. (there was more to the end of our marriage than his working hours but had he changed those, he'd have gone a long way to being able to solve the other issues)
ReplyDeleteMy husband is like that. We have a 3 year old and I have had to reschedule her and my doctors appointments because it interfered with his work schedule. He spends WAY more time at work than at home, and if they need help with something, he'll jump at the chance to go back in. He was supposed to have Fridays off over the summer but he changed his schedule to work EXTRA hours all summer long. To add insult to injury, he stayed at the office last night working on a "paper". When he does come home after work he takes a nap, wakes up demands supper and then gets on his computer in his home office, then strait to bed. He gets mad when I'm not "in the mood" but considering I NEVER SEE HIM, it's kind of hard to be in the mood. My daughter grabbed his leg earlier today and told him that she really misses him. He gave her a hug and then went and got back on his computer.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous, I read your comment and feel so sad for you. But then realise I live the exact same situation with my baby's father. I can't even call him a boyfriend anymore. It's very sad and I know I have to end the relationship. :(
ReplyDeleteMy partner has just started a new job,as a manager in a dept of a local big store chain..it was to give him mre time at home as his last managers job at our local shop had him involved 24/7.he promised this was 42 hrs a week over 5 days,1 week end in 4 ect.so far in the last 4 weeks up till opening last monday he is gone anytime from 5.30 am up till sometimes 6/7pm plus.hes worked last 3 weekends both days till late.i have MS and have done since 2010..am not mobile alone,need walking aids and struggle daily with things.i have a pa(a friend)3 mornings a week but rely on my 15yro son and 8yr old daughter for help most days.hes tired,moody,thousands in debt,neva answers his fone and has now announced night shifts..today doing 1 till 10pm..so again the kids and i are alone.our holiday never happened..no time alowed blah blah...well cross and if i open my mouth im moaning.........give up.x
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